A Matter of Gabe

Once again, PBS comes through with provocative, enjoyable, and appropriately named programming.

Also, here’s a gem:

Mike Rowe on QVC

Big Ideas (don’t get any) from James Houston on Vimeo.

Self Explanatory (but I’ll explain anyway for the Googlebots): Radiohead on the classics. -GM

By way of digg

p.s. - I can’t get the “Big John” song out of my head.

I found this on the Google Adsense support site:

At least they let you know up front.

Sometimes I wonder if the future cries with me…

“Filmed my commercial in sepia tones, got a badass VO and a set of cojones… Big Johnnnnn”

Image Courtesy theimaginaryworld.com

Fig Newtons.

Can I just say that no other ‘Fruit Chewy Cookies’ makes me feel as satisfied? In addition to being the most delicious fig product I’ve ever tasted, they are downright economical. How’s $1.99 for 8 ounces sound? For less than two hundred thousand dollars you can purchase 6,250 gallons worth and NEVER worry about having Newtons around or not having bowel movements.

I know you’re clamoring to pinch pennies, so I’ve included my own recipe for Gabe’s Special Fig Newtons:

Gabe’s Special Fig Newtons

Components/Ingredients:

• Enriched Flour Mix (See Below)
  • 1 Cup Wheat Flour
  • 24.3g Niacin
  • Pinch of Reduced Iron
  • Thaimine Mononitrate (to taste)
  • Dash of Riboflavin
  • Capful of Folic Acid
• 10 Figs (Preserved with Sulfur Dioxide) Hint: An easy way to preserve them with carbon dioxide is to place figs and sulfur in plastic bag and, using a rubber band, secure it to your car’s tailpipe. Run car for 20 min, let bag cool.
• 1 Liter Corn Syrup
• 1 Liter High Fructose Corn Syrup
• 1 Liter Like Totally High Fructose Corn Syrup, man.
• 14oz. Sugar
• Shot of Soybean Oil
• 4 fingers of Whey (From milk)
• Ounce of Cottonseed Oil (Hydrogenated (Partially))
• Smattering of Salt
• Bag of Baking Soda
• 1 Teaspoon Calcium Lactate (Use CLR, but take out the LR)
• 1 cup Malic Acid
• 4.5 dashes of Say It Ain’t Soy Lecithin (To Emulsify)
• Pinch of Potassium Sorbate
• Artificial Flavor (It’s going to say that it’s your friend, but it will let you down.)

Simply whisk to a frothy boil, Invent a machine that puts the figs into the cookie, and bake as long as you see fit!

Here’s how mine ended up:

Blackberry camera, you vex me!

Author’s Note:

After the fact, I realize what a powerful laxative Fig Newtons are. Advice: Don’t overdo it on the F.N.’s.